I have a fundamental opposition to store-bought greeting cards, and NO, it’s not because Hallmark spurned my idea of a line of cards for awkward situations.
Cover: We Were Friends Until I Married Your Ex.
Inside: You could do better, but I couldn’t.
When I was young and childless, I loved poring over cards. “Look, someone wittier than I am, who could draw, made this for me to buy for you!”
Nowadays, I’d rather have something hand-made, especially from a kid with imperfect spelling or drawing skills. I want them to tell me happy Mother’s Day, Administrative Professionals’ Day, Carl Garner Federal Lands Cleanup Day, etc.
Last month, we celebrated my mother’s birthday. It was a milestone year, and we all wanted to honor her because she’s a wonderful woman. I turned my kids loose to make cards for her…
Unfortunately, smart-ass-ity is a genetic condition. This is what my son came up with,
“Roses are red, violets are blue,”
…that’s how the verse started,
and he rhymed it with “poo.”
My deputy daughter pointed this out as I was wriggling into my control-top tights, and I had to make sure he fixed it.
Did I learn my lesson? You bet!
His school friend is having a party today, and I have a blog post to write, so I gave him the paper and crayons and a stern warning to make a NICE card.
Here’s what he wrote:
I can’t argue – It’s a “nice” card. So sweet. But it’s not for a fellow six-year old boy. It’s for a 46 year-old woman from her life coach.
The card was thoughtful and creative, and I was proud of him.
He was proud of himself.
(Not as proud as the poo card…)
But, we, his loyal family talked him into making a different card. After all, his friend is into bounce houses and Pokemon. He changed it to the standard, “Have an awesome birthday!”
Perfect. Middle of the road. Playin’ it safe. Killin’ my kid’s soul.
That’s my job… but I can’t let a heartfelt sentiment go to waste.
While his friend receives a generic birthday greeting, I will pass on to you this message from my son and our cat,
And to my boy: keep up the good work! ; )