Put It ALL On!

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randy1

Here at Chez van Lier, we’re working our way through the long winter, and because it’s cold – really cold – I am obliged by state law to comment on it.

I know my friends in warmer climes wonder, “If they hate the cold so much, why don’t they just move?”

We tried, but there was nothing to complain about, so we came back.

We’re also (coincidentally) reading The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder, which starts out with a chapter called “Indian Warning.”  Pa is in the general store and an old Native American man bursts through the door and tells the menfolk they’re dumber than a bag of doorknobs if they stay through the coming winter, because it’s going to be the worst they’ve ever seen.

The men in the store are more surprised than warned.

“Where did he come from?” they remark, “Why, I thought they had all been escorted off the premises.”

(I’m paraphrasing, but not by much.)

It turns out they ARE mental midgets, because for the next many chapters, it’s a non-stop blizzard They have to keep warm with nothing but swamp grass and moral superiority!

Don’t spoil it for me, I haven’t read to the end, but something amazing must save them because there are 3 more books after this one, and Laura lives to be 90 years old.

Wisconsin has been my home for 3/4 of my life, and yesterday I found myself wearing 2 sweaters over long underwear and Googling “How To Stay Warm.”

One article recommended increasing your body temperature by taking a Zumba™ break.

Hello?! I’m Polish.

If I’m going to break for anything, it is coffee and crullers, but I will remember to do snake arms while I am eating.

So what are my favorite ways to stay warm during winter?

Well, I move around the house checking the weather on various devices, and counting the hours until it reaches double-digits.

I also peek in the refrigerator. The cold air makes my house feel warm by comparison.

fridge

My stainless steel therapist

Finally, I eat. It’s not healthy, but there you are. Consider it layering on the inside. Food tastes better when you’re chilly and terrified to drive anywhere.

How do you stay warm during the winter?

Write your answer on the back of a boarding pass to Aruba, and tape it to a squirrel. It will find me! (Or just comment, if that’s easier. Either way.)

 

 

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