The Pooh Corner Office

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You know that dream you have when you’re at work, only it’s a job you had a long time ago, and it’s still the same old bullsh*t? Well, if you want to have it while you’re awake, just read your kids a bunch of Winnie the Pooh.

A.A. Milne must’ve worked in an office. Or in retail. Or at a sandwich shop with P.G. Wodehouse. Nobody could nail the workplace dynamic like that without some sort of trauma experience.

Winnie’s the boss, of course. The others are always doing things for him, and he’s likeable yet resigned to his own incompetence. Not too hard to piece together…

BLOG boss's ass

Looks like we gotta stay late again to save the boss’s ass.

Rabbit’s the know-it-all jerkface, but you respect him because he WORKS. The guy is in charge of the garden, and he does his f’ing JOB. (And he’s the party planner.)

Piglet is the up-and-comer: completely non-threatening, flattering to have around. You wouldn’t mind seeing Piglet succeed, yet you can’t actually imagine it.

Kanga has been with the company forever. She’s so loyal, they let her kid work there, even though he’s a screw up. But you’d never say anything because Kanga’s a sweetheart.

BLOG roos job

You’ll never have to stand on your own two giant feet.

Christopher Robin’s the guy you could see hanging out with outside of work, except he’s almost never AT work. What’s up with that?

Tigger – alcoholic.

And finally, we have Eeyore. When you walk in in the morning and say, “How’s it going, Eeyore?” you know he’ll heave a deep sigh, and say, “Hanging in there, you know. Between the sciatica and the root canal my dentist botched…” You nod sympathetically and pray for a hundred acre forest fire.

Eeyore never actually DOES anything, but he always wants to put his cheap two cents in. He’s the first to point out when things are going south, even if they’re not, just to “play devil’s advocate.” If someone has great personal news, you can count on Eeyore to deflate it, saying things like, “Weddings are a leading cause of personal bankruptcy,” and “My sister was mugged in Jamaica the minute she stepped off the cruise ship.”

BLOG eecloud

Someone left a cloud in the break room… AGAIN.

And WHOO are you in all this? Owl, of course. You’re the only smart one!

BLOG smartest

No one apter than a raptor, beaches!

Without you, that whole place would grind to a halt. You’re the ideas person. The problem-solver. Pooh may own the place, but you run it…

Lucky you’re so humble, or everyone would think you were one smug SOB.

Go ahead, introduce your kids to the real world of workplace politics! There’s no sweeter, more charming way than Winnie & friends. And by friends, I mean employees.

BLOG hold

Are we standing around, or are we working, folks?

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