Filthy Lucre



There’s still a little adrenaline in my bloodstream.

I walked in to the library today, you know, like I do… made my usual rounds: items on hold, new children’s, new non-fiction, new fiction…

Hold the phone, it’s the NEW Harry Potter?!?! I grabbed it like a lab bonobo grabs the only grape in a dish of cucumbers and tucked it under my arm. There was no way I was going to risk some other patron seeing me and telling me they had been on the waiting list, and the library made a mistake putting it on the shelf, and their kid needs it for an AP Literature project, blah, blah, blah.

My hands were shaking as I started toward the self-check out (no, I wasn’t about to trust the circulation desk, either), when I passed the new DVDs.

Normally, there are only a handful of new DVDs and they are dregs: Paul Blart Mall Cop 2, It’s Complicated, the third or fourth Avengers, and the poor Danish Girl*.


Pretty! I’m so pretty!

I thought I saw a title that looked like Bridge of Spies starring Tom Hanks, nominated for a bunch of Oscars, and not about mall security. It couldn’t be… could it…?

YES! I nabbed that, too, then raced to self-checkout, waiting for the sirens, searchlights, and German shepherds.

Groceries and errands would have to wait. I went straight home with my loot, and couldn’t wait to tell you about it. You won’t rat me out, will you?


*The Danish Girl was actually a great movie about a pioneering spirit, but I’m only going to watch it once, which is one more time than 98% of the rest of my community is going to watch it. Thanks to Dixie Crystals for the lemon curd pastry photo.


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