If you think this is going to be some sort of inspirational essay, it’s not.
It’s actually about the cruelty of the gym teacher at our elementary school where every day, from 9:10AM to 3:20PM, he plays a song that goes…
No-no No. No.
No-no No. No.
No-no-no-no LI! MIT!”
That’s the whole song.
Repeat that over and over in your head and see if you don’t start to spill state secrets. For how long? I dunno. Ten. Ten. Ten-ten-ten-ten Min! Utes?
The first time I heard the song, the PA system was so loud and distorted, I thought the words were “No eat it,” as in something a two year old would say in regard to a recently-introduced food. It is, after all, an elementary school gym class, and two years ago, they were drilled with a song called “What Does the Fox Say?”
“Ning ning ning ning ning a-ning a-ning,” “Whattchachachachachachachow,” and “Hatchie hatchie hatchie HO.”
We can only afford one song per year. Public school. No no no no no no Bud. Get. The gym teacher buys the cheapest one he can get, and spends the rest of his allotment on his annual subscription to the Journal of Phys Ed Aphorism.
2016’s song is No Limit. It’s got that 80’s aerobics kind of vibe that makes you want to don a French-cut leotard and kick your Reeboks up over your Frost & Tip.
“I have that ‘No Eat It’ song in my head,” I told my third grader.
“I think she’s actually saying ‘No Lemon.'”
No Lemon makes much more sense, especially to picky eaters. When you don’t want lemon, you want everyone to be sure you get No! Lemon!
Another staff member said she thought the song was “No Women,” at first, which was strange, since presumably it’s a woman singing the song. Then, she said, she listened closer and heard “No Wimint.”
Of course. No WIMINT! I can rest my addled brain knowing someone has finally taken a stand against wimint.
My husband is one of those people who is constantly whistling and denying it, and today, while stirring a bowl of peanut sauce in the kitchen, I heard him tooting out “No Limit.” The torture is complete. It has osmosed into our family home and gripped our collective brain.
No Limit. Dammit. That’s when I knew we were all doomed. Doomed!!! This song makes Mmm-Bop sound downright orchestral.
In case you’re curious, here’s the video from 2 Unlimited, the original artists from 1993!?!? And the song has lyrics??? I’m going to have a word with that sadistic gym teacher. Meanwhile, I hope these two aren’t still trapped in that pinball machine. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkEXGgdqMz8
Until we meet again – No wimnit e’erybody.