Resolutions? We Don’t Need No Stinking Resolutions


Happy New Year, everyone! We fooled the kids into thinking 9PM was midnight, then  we watched a PBS documentary about healthy eating (with Snickers and beer!) and dragged ourselves to bed at 12.

For the first year ever, I am flouting the New Year’s Resolution. Last year, I pretended to, but secretly went on a pointless diet designed to make everyone think I didn’t care about losing 20 lbs (when I really really did – not enough to actually diet or exercise, but enough to fabricate a New Year’s ruse.)

This year is different. I just don’t care anymore! Oh, happy day! Of course, I could resolve to be a better person, compost, get organized, blog at least once a week…


*Inaccurate analogy? Here’s me giving zero poops

BUT, this year I’m more like Schrodinger’s cat: I will either do those things or I won’t.*¬† Starting on January first won’t make any difference.

Not to me, anyway.

Which got me to thinking about things I would normally not be enjoying this week.

I spent a LOT of time yesterday on social media. I watched Despicable Me and didn’t exercise. I cursed like a Somali pirate.

I also made these delicious things for us to have around the house:

  1. Doughnut Muffins. I first made these Christmas Day when I wanted to start a meaningful holiday tradition by baking something truly special and then realized, “Who am I kidding?”
  2. Peanut Squares. So damn easy, they practically appear out of nothingness. Then disappear again. A mystery on par with the Trinity.
  3. Emeril Lagasse’s Key Lime Pie. A very respected colleague once called this pie, “Better Than Sex.” And, I would like to add, “A Lot Less Work.”

If you are a hopeless slob like me, please put on your fat pants and enjoy these recipes. You and I have all year to improve ourselves, my friend.

If you made some solid resolutions, good for you!

(File this post for next year, just in case.)

… And – if you’re nearby, visit me at the library – I’ll bring the Snickers & wine. ; )




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