BOX TOPS FOR CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE

General Mills’s heart is in the right place with Box Tops for Education. I appreciate the dime they give our school every time I pay $4 for a box of cereal laden with sugar and preservatives.

My bounty of Box Tops

Here’s my real-life collection of Box Tops. Every time we finish a product, I pull out the scissors and harvest the coupon – The kids can’t do it, because after “breakfast,” they’re too strung out to handle scissors.

Sometimes, I have to rummage through the recycling to find the damn things. (You wouldn’t throw dimes in the trash, would you?)

Whenever I cut a Box Top, I can’t help but remember the subsidies General Mills actually gets from the SNAP program. It seems like we’re helping them a little more ($75.67 billion) than they’re helping us. Hey, I’m not bitter… why would they leave money on the table?

But I do have kids in school.

And I’m passionate about these programs because they ADD UP.

While it would be nice if companies just GAVE ten cents of every purchase to schools (which, I’m sure they do, in the form of taxes… I mean, they wouldn’t just take federal funds without paying their fair share, would they?), they want us to get our hands dirty. They want to see us crawl. It’s a game we’re already playing.

Mind. Blown.

I actually called Box Tops, General Mills, and Reynolds (also a participating partner) to find out how many people who buy products with Box Top offers on the packaging actually cut off the coupons and send them in.

Here’s what I found out: The companies themselves didn’t have exact figures, only dollar amounts in their annual reports. Box Tops for Education allows participating schools to redeem up to $20,000 in labels. Some schools reach that goal, and other schools only send in about $2 worth, but as the Box Tops representative said, “Every little bit counts, right?”

RIGHT!!

So, I am going on a mission to get every school $20,000 in freaking BOX TOPS!

I know I’d feel a heck of a lot better sending my kid to school with a bag full of cardboard scraps (and the Box Tops, too) if I knew there was $20 grand in it from all those dang Ziploc bags!

What do you say?

Let’s stick it to the Man. I want EVERYONE to go to your pantry and refrigerator and see if you have any products with Box Tops for Education on them.

Cut out those labels whether you have kids in school or not. Feel the gratification when you say, “That’s right, corporate establishment: Ten cents to my local school  – cough it up!”

Those companies don’t turn up their nose at free money, and neither should we.

Get dirty! Clip until your hands are calloused and raw! Then take those #$&@* Box Tops to the nearest school and drop them off like a boss.

BOOM!

Here I am on Facebook and on Twitter @lynnvanlier. Here’s my Amazon page. Keep in touch!

Reading With A Lump In My Throat

Clara Lemlich circa 1910 – from the collection of the ILGWU

“Are you crying again?”

I am reading Brave Girl by Michelle Markel to my son, about Clara Lemlich, an immigrant girl who goes to work in a garment factory. My assignment from his karate teacher is to read true stories of people with the warrior spirit.

Why do these books have to be so damn moving?

I tell him about superheroes who stand up for what is right; that they are real people and some are even children.

But even though I read the book through twice by myself, so I wouldn’t cry, I still lose it.

We talk about the good things Clara Lemlich and the labor unions accomplished: safe working conditions, five-day work-weeks, and an end to child labor, even though, he points out, kids in China make most of our things.

And there I go again…

Brave Girl couldn’t have come into our lives at a better time. Just as he was starting kindergarten and complaining he had to go to school every day. His school has a playground and exercise balls instead of chairs, a big library and tablets with math games.

“There are children all over the world who want to go to school,” I explain, wincing to myself because I know how I sound. (Clean your plate..!)

In the end, it’s not child factory workers who change his mind. It’s a skilled teacher and supportive learning environment.

Nonetheless, I’m glad he’s aware that public education isn’t something that just happens, and given the chance, there are people who would take it away, and circumstances under which it doesn’t exist.

Maybe, when he’s six or nine or fourteen, he will face an injustice and remember Clara’s warrior spirit. Maybe he will call on his own.

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY

This year, as coordinator of our school’s book fair, I witnessed the spending habits of carefree children. They stampeded into the gym waving bills. As Dave Barry would say, “I am NOT making this up.”

Did they buy books?

Ha ha ha – not really.

The friendly book  fair people were kind enough to send half a truckload of “educational materials” priced from fifty cents to three dollars. Boxes cleverly labeled “school supplies” contained erasers disguised as candy (choking hazard), and calculators that smelled like chocolate bars (batteries not included).

Yes, some students bought books – especially those with toys included. This was how my own kids sidestepped the “books only” rule I thought was impenetrable. When we got our book-encased-toys home, the toys were either broken or almost broken and the books? Well, here’s my seven year old’s review:

“This doesn’t have much of a story, and I hate it when the rhyme doesn’t match up.”

But all books are educational and therefore worthwhile, aren’t they? I mean, I’m a writer. Wouldn’t I want my kids to have a library of their own beloved books?

And there’s the second part of the one-two punch of marketing to children. Parents and educators.

Have you ever set foot in a retail store devoted to quality educational toys? Of course you have. Maybe before your first baby even developed teeth buds. Because you want the BEST for them.

These stores carry brands with words like “genius,” “explorer,” and “creative” in their names. I know I’m being suckered, but what if the neighbor’s kid becomes a genius and mine remains average? I wake most nights in a cold sweat just thinking about it.

But, for the most part, when we get these toys home – after spending the college fund – we open them up to find packets of baking soda (vinegar not included), woefully limited building sets (extension pack $49), and, well, stuff you could make yourself if you spent any time on YouTube.

A valuable lesson!

Okay, I’m a little biased. Besides, kids have to have something to keep them entertained, right? They’re fickle little consumers.

Which brings me to the fundraising item of the week: scented pencils at $1 each. My friend’s daughter bought two.

“I got a jelly doughnut and a cotton candy, but the jelly doughnut one stinks.”

“Ask them if they’ll exchange it for a different kind.”

“Um… can I just buy another one?”

“They’re a dollar apiece!”

“Aww…”

“Okay, but it’s coming out of your allowance…”

That’s how empires are built: one pencil at a time. As the book fair rep explained it, “We’ve got to hold them upside-down by their ankles and shake ’em!”

Only they don’t have to shake very hard. They already know exactly what they’re doing.

Follow me, comment, and share! I’m really a nice person.

I’m Super!

Today, I was recognized.

It happened on the school playground.

A boy came running up to me shouting, “My pants are falling down! My pants are falling down!”

Sure enough, he was holding his elastic-waist pants up with his fist as his mother chased after him, pleading with him not to tell strangers about his pants problem.

She was unaware that I am a member of an elite team within the school that handles problems of the pants: the health room volunteers.

The three of us went inside and found some functioning pants.  He began changing right then and there, again, horrifying his mother. I sent him to the bathroom.

She was amazed. He ran off to class.

“Thank you, Pants Lady. You’re my hero!”

All in a day’s work.

NEW BOOK! Available Right NOW!

(Available at all major e-book sellers!)

I had no idea how busy parents were until I became one myself. So busy… so, so busy! When my kids started coming home from school and freaking out, I just did NOT have the time.

I’ll hide here. Maybe they won’t notice…

I’m sympathetic. The school day is long and arduous, filled with sound and fury, served with a terrible lunch.

I tried handing them a Snickers bar and turning on the TV, but that just didn’t cut it.They needed more.

I needed some strategery.

The result is this book.

I know, you’ve got other things to do. You don’t want to run a craft corner as soon as your kids fling off their backpacks. That’s the beauty of it: they can do these things themselves.

KP duty

Take a look and let me know what you think. You can leave a review, or comment here, or visit me on Facebook. Enjoy!